


First Name Basis

by Nightstar208



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Starfleet, Starfleet Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:18:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11701935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightstar208/pseuds/Nightstar208
Summary: Caroline Andrews was naive to think she could handle everything the universe had to throw at her, why should she think otherwise with Melissa Lindsay by her side. Two young ensigns assigned to the same Starfleet ship under Captain Pike's command. One in blue and one in red living out their dreams, neither one thought it would end so soon. (Christopher Pike x OC) (Slight Leonard McCoy x OC)





	1. Power

There are certain things women find attractive, and me, I find authority attractive. Unlike most women, however, I don't want the power myself, oh no. I want the bask in submission as the man I love exudes his power before me and anyone who would dare harm or defy him. I am by no means weak, it takes a strong man to handle me and I never thought I would find a man who could. That is until I meet a man who had leadership built into his very core, a man I would never truly have.

I was on my way to my quarters after a long day, I’d had dinner with my good friend in engineering and just wanted to fall into bed. Other things were in store for me, however, when I was pulled into a supply closet near my room. It was dark and ominous but I was able to make out the features of my abductor. Dull blue eyes, greying brown hair, laugh lines, I knew this face well though I’d never actually spoken to Captain Pike I had seen him in passing and I technically worked for him. I was a Stellar Cartographer and mostly spent my time in the Mapping Room on the ship not venturing out unless Melissa Lindsay, my best friend and a Propulsion Engineer forced me to socialize.

“Captain Pike, sir, did you need something?” My voice trembled, I knew I was shy and not the best conversationalist so I avoided it mostly. The Captain only smiled at it in the darkness of the supply closet before whispering in my ear.

“On your knees, ensign.”

I did as his ordered, confused until I was meet with a sight I didn’t expect to see. While still fully clothed, the Captain had unclasped and unzipped his pants to expose his ‘flagship’ ready to go. I looked back up to meet his eyes, the stern, lusty eyes I was met with explained to me exactly what was going on and what he wanted from me. I could see it in his eyes, he wanted this but he was no rapist, he wasn’t going to force me to do anything. I could leave now and this would never be spoken about again and I wanted to, I really did but I … didn’t.

I was a good girl, I never did things like this though I was no virgin but something about the prospect thrilled me and I couldn’t refuse. So, against my better judgement I placed a gentle kiss to the tip eliciting a groan from the Captain. I hid a smile and began to working him like I knew men enjoyed, this wasn’t my first time around male genitalia and it wouldn’t be my last. Every motion was precise and calculating, slow and aggravating if the Captain’s sounds of protest were clues. I had the upper hand in the moment, with the Captain on the cusp of release, I could coax anything I wished from him but I didn’t. I didn’t want power I wanted to live inside it, to watch but never touch, power drew me like a moth to flame but I was wise enough to never touch it.

The Captain drew impatient, her hand pulled roughly against my hair at the back of my head forcing me to bob on him until he finally achieved his goal. He emptied himself in my mouth and I took all of it, he remained inside of my mouth while he caught his breathe but the moment he did he removed himself and zipped his pants up. I straightened my hair out, by the time I looked up to speak with him he was gone. I sat in that dark supply room for what felt like minutes, though it was hours, trying to process what had transpired between me and our esteemed Captain.

I should feel used but I didn’t, I felt surprisingly content, I had made the Captain orgasm as easily as if I was tending to myself. While that made me smile, I felt dirty. Did I not belittle Melissa for her whore like escapades? Now here I was, behaving just as inappropriately with our Captain no less!

Hours I spent warring with myself to determine if I was a harlot or not. I was only brought out of my reverie when my communicator rang out in the darkness. I jumped, the sound breaking the intense silence momentarily frightening me. I looked down to see I had thirty minutes before my shift began.

 

“Ugh Mel! I’m such a hypocrite!” I growled, frustrated as I my friend studied me carefully. Explaining that I had been pulled into a supply closet by a man I had never spoken to and the things we did had been difficult and she had gotten rather mad when I refused to give any clues as to who the man was.

“No, you’re not, it happened once. Sleep with a couple more guys and then you’ll be a hypocrite. Though I don’t see why you don’t just go for it anyways, it’s not like you're a family kind of girl.” Mel pointed a reheated carrot at me from the tip of her metal fork.

“I love my parents!” I protested.

“Yeah but you're not one to settle down and have kids of your own, you married Starfleet and those damned maps are your kids.”

“I never wanted kids” I conceded seeing her point. There was no need to ‘save myself’ so to speak, if I never wanted to get married. So really what was stopping me from sleeping around like Mel did? As if reading my mind, Mel answered the unasked question.

“All those years of Catholic private school has you thinking it's wrong” Mel said with a mouthful of food.

“But I’m an atheist.”

“Now, but you weren’t always.” she pushed her red hair out of her blue eyes then focused back in on me. “Now give me some clues about this mystery man.”

“Mel,” I looked at her clinical and shook my head. “No.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be such a spoil sport! I tell you about my sex life!”

“To my horror” I reminded her. She groaned like child but let the topic drop as we clean up our table to leave the mess. Heading to the trey returns she tried to take a more position turn with me.

“This could be good for you, you’re always so tense maybe a little release will help you relax, be less uptight.”

“I am not uptight” I snapped placing my tray in the stack.

“Sorry prudish, not uptight.” she smirked placing her tray on top of mine and leading the way out of the mess hall.

“I’m sure it was a one-time thing, I seriously doubt it will happen again.” Even as I said the words, I couldn’t help but hope it happened again.

“So, find another guy, there’s plenty of them here.” she gestured around with her hands but I watched as her eyes zoned in on a man walking down the hall. I turned to get a better look, it was Captain Pike on his way to the mess. He didn’t make eye contact, just walked past like nothing had ever happened.

“Ladies” he nodded politely.

“Captain” we said in sync much to our displeasure. He entered the mess and we continued walking, as I fought off a blush.

“Hey maybe you could help the Captain out! He’s a great guy and all but he always seems sexual frustrated. I’m mean I would too if I had all the pressure on me …”

She continued to ramble as we walked but I was trapped in my own thoughts. He didn’t even know my name, didn’t even acknowledge me as a person but a group. I hadn’t really been upset about our encounter this morning but not I just felt used. I didn’t know if I wanted to screamed or cry, maybe both.

“Callie, are you even listening to me?” Mel pulled on my arm jerking me out of the panic that was rising in me.

“Huh?” I asked, blinking back the negative emotions flowing through me.

“I asked if you were going to the rec room or your quarters?”  
“Oh … um I’m just … my room” I managed to get out between all the thoughts clouding up my mind. I gave Melissa a kind smile before returning to my room for the night, I had spent the entire previous night in the supply closet so I could really use a shower and my bed.

 

I knew the moment I experienced my first crush that I would never want the white picket fence sort of life. My first crush was one of my high school teachers and I couldn’t chalk it up to the repressed sexual desires of a hormonal teenage girl because liking older men was a constant for me. Captain Pike was everything I was attracted to, he was kind to his subordinate, respectful to all, loyal man who always does what's right, and authoritative.

I didn’t know then why he had chosen me and I think if I knew then what I know now I don’t think I would have ever spoken to him again but I truly wanted to be with him be a part of his life. I think I understood then that our relationship was purely sex with no strings attached but I had subconsciously convinced myself I could change his mind. If I could go back and change things, I wouldn’t I truly wouldn’t because even then looking back on how everything played out I was happy. I was drawn to the power Captain Pike help over me and the rest of the crew but I fell in love with My Captain, the one I kept all to myself behind closed doors.

The way he walked about the ship, with no need to care but care he did for every one of his crew, he even addressed each one of them by name, but even so, in our entire time together he never once asked for my name. I don’t think he ever knew it until I told him myself, then I thought it was odd but now I know it for what it was, it was his way of keeping us unattached from one another. Though we were both participants our entire relationship was controlled and dictated by him he came to me not the other way around, ever. The one time I sought him out, though pleasant, he made me regret it.

The truth of the matter is from the moment I knelt in front of Captain Pike I swore to live my life in obedience to him though I wouldn’t come to realize it until now as I ponder my past with the man I sacrificed everything for. I think he liked me submitting to his every whim though I was vocal in my opinions and understanding of his needs and stresses. The moment I kissed his arousal my fate was sealed, I was completely ruined for any other sexual partner I could ever have he had shown me pleasure in such a way no one else could. He knew even then, having loved and been loved in return what such feelings between him and another caused, if I had only known then maybe I wouldn’t have pressed him so hard, maybe I wouldn’t have lost a man I grew to love.


	2. Connections

I chose her for a reason, because while she was attractive, she was the only one I believed could handle the rules I had set. Not many women would accept when you offered them an ultimatum but she did much to my surprise. My rules were simply my terms easy enough to follow and in return she asked for nothing, she wanted nothing from me and at the time I was plagued with confusion. How could a beautiful blonde haired blued eyes scientist want nothing out of this exchanged? I was the law on this ship, she could have asked me for anything, nothing was impossible for me in my position but she didn’t want anything. At first I, had convinced myself she would use my position to her advantage but her own position left no room for advancement and her herself didn’t seem to desire power. While power attracted her, she seemed afraid to touch it herself.

My rules were simple: never stay the night, no kissing/cuddling/etc., she was never to seek me out, we didn’t speak about anything apart from the task at hand. They may seem cruel but my rules were put in place for the benefit of all involved, not just myself. As Captain, I couldn’t afford to grow attached to one of my crew, not when I may lose them should a dire situation arise, nor could I have my integrity compromised. The rule prevented them from growing attached to myself as the relationship would never be more than it was, anyone seeking such a bond would be felt broken. Broken hearted women were probably the most dangerous beings I had ever encountered, mainly due to their unpredictability. I’d broken enough hearts to see the wide range of reactions from depression and anger to full on stalking and insanity, such reactions were too much drama for one ship.

My resolve had always been strong when I partook of these arrangements, I am a man and I still have needs that need fulfilling, never once had my decisions been wrong. I would give as much as I took in the form of pleasure but once our ship docked at home and my crew would disband to recuperate, so too did the arrangement end. But with this Little Ensign I found my resolve lacking, my sternness waning as the time progress and without ever speaking to her I grew to learn her. Without my willing consent, I began to wish the Stellar Cartographer would demand more from me than just a mere booty call, but she never did, she never demanded a thing from me. I found myself breaking my very own rule, I found myself growing attached. I realized that I was in trouble the day she demanded of me and I was powerless to her wishes.

 

It had been a long day but I wouldn’t go to the Little Ensign, I hadn’t in almost a month now, our last encounter left me frightened.

After sex, she had quickly fallen asleep, though she hadn’t touched me I had stayed longer than I should have. She expected me to leave right after as I always did but I was consumed by her brunette waves sticking to her sweaty forehead as she slept, a well satisfied smirk on her lips. I watched her sleep for what felt like hours, unwilling to leave her in this erotically vulnerable state. In her sleep a beautiful smile spread to her lips and in a sleepy moan she whispered “My Captain”. The moment she’d let the words slip, even in her sleep I had ran for the door, for I knew she was growing far too attached as well.

That was the last time I had gone to her and I had no intentions of seeing her again, neither one of us could afford to grow closer than we already had. I knew her so well, I could answer almost any question about her without having asked her a single question myself. I knew her as easily as I knew myself and the thought terrified me so I tried to forget her but even my own body refused to. I tried to find someone else to suit my needs, even tried to take matters into my own hands but I found the experiencing lacking.

I was distracted when I entered my quarters, at first I didn’t notice her sitting in the arm chair near the closet. When I realized she was there I didn’t bother to look at her as I took my shoes off.

“What are you doing here?” I could hear the growl in my voice though I was glad she had come to me. She broken one of the rules, it didn’t matter that it had been weeks, it was unacceptable.

“You haven’t come by” she didn’t sound upset or angry, she just seemed curious. I turned to look at her for the first time, she was wearing only her undergarments, her hair down.

“You’re not supposed to come to me, remember?” I snapped.

“I remember” she approached, each movement purposeful. I could tell she was hurt by my absence but she wouldn’t admit it, she knew I would refuse to ever see her again. “But I’ve always seen you parading all over this ship, the sexual tension practically dripping off you.”

“You were growing attached.” my stern tone faded as she dropped to her knees in front of me,

“I indicated no such thing” she made quick work of my pants, freeing me from their confines.

“You talk in your sleep.” She paused in her ministrations looking up at me with intrigue before smirking up at me. She continued to aroused me with her hand as she spoke.

“It would seem you are the one growing attached if you’ve been watching me sleep.” then I was in her mouth, unable to argue back, I had waited too long to let it end so quickly. I yanked her up, forced her against the wall and broke my rule, I kissed her. I fucking kissed her!

 

  
That night had changed something between us, though I would never acknowledge it, I started caring for her from then on out. We didn’t break any more rules after that night but since we were breaking, I let her sleep in my own bed. I’d waited until she fell asleep to hold her in my arms, I watched her sleep until the late hours of the morning. I was strong in every aspect of my life except when it came to her she was my one weakness, this ‘understanding’ left us both vulnerable and exposed but i was beginning to not care. 

 

Our jobs kept us separated, i rarely left the bridge and she hardly stepped out of the mapping room but occasionally our paths would cross. She was always well behaved, never acknowledging me past what was required of her as my subordinate before carrying on her way. She was everything i could ever ask for, she was independent and sassy, considerate and obedient, she was hot as hell and smarter than me. There she was again, sitting with her engineering friend in the cafeteria smiling and laughing across the room from me. I sat with head of other departments ignoring the serious conversations going on around me, my interest drawn to the brunette whose name i still refused to learn. 

“Captain?” my name being called forced my attentions away from the giggling girls and back to my table where five pairs of eyes awaiting something from me.

“Sorry i’m a little distracted.” i reemerged myself in the conversation, not looking back to my Little Ensign until she left. The yearning i felt for wasn’t just physical anymore, i wanted to know about her, but i couldn’t. 

 

I knew then that things would end disastrously, i just never thought it would hurt this much when i lost her. I didn’t think the suffering would imprint itself on my heart, i didn’t think the pain would be irreversible. Out of all the possible outcomes, i’d considered this one many times but i had swore to myself i’d never let this one become a reality but i all swore i wouldn’t fall in love with her. 

I never considered she would leave me with an entire shipful of messes to clean up when she left, she was too considerate to hurt everyone else when she didn’t get what she wanted. The only one who knew how i was feeling was Ensign Melissa Lindsay, my Little Ensign best friend who was suffering just as much as me if not more. Lindsay blamed me for the way things turned out, accused me of being the reason she left, Lindsay hated me for what i’d done and there was no one to earn either of their forgiveness. Even as she hated me, we sought each other’s comfort, we confided with one another for no one else were able to truly comprehend the scars she’d inflicted on us. We could make it through this, i knew we would because i’d done it before, and Lindsay had her lover to help her cope. Loneliness is a feeling i had gotten used to experiencing but now, now i resented myself for having opened myself up to the possibility. Now with her gone i was alone again, sure i had friends and colleagues but no one could compare to what i had had with her before she left. Now she was gone and everyone blamed me because she wasn’t going to come back.


	3. Misdirection

I had been so proud of Callie when I found out she was sleeping with someone, she was always so prudish I didn’t think she’d ever get laid again. Then she met someone, right around the same time I meet Dr. Leonard McCoy in retrospect I should have paid more attention to my friend instead of my own petty squabbles. I was so desperate to be the kind of girl Bones want that I didn’t even see the warning signs my best friend was showing. 

If I had been a good friend I would have noticed that my friend was spiraling down a dangerous path she had no idea how to navigate. She had never been the girl to sleep around and while she was no virgin she didn’t know what was happening. When I started paying attention I noticed too late that she was in far too deep, if I had only given her the advice she’d needed maybe she wouldn’t have fallen so hard so fast. I knew from experience that you never slept with the same guy twice, you’d start to fall in love just like she had. 

At the time, I wanted love so I didn’t think that my friend and I switching roles was too devastating, she got to sleep around while I kept my legs crossed and didn’t look at other guys. She even seemed happier so why would I have wanted to ruin that for my best friend? I wanted her to be happy and relaxed, her relationship with the mysterious made her less uptight, so I was happy for her. With her in the cloud of bliss I was left to worry about myself, being on my best behavior. 

________________________________________

I could sense Callie’s eyes on me, trying to coax me into speaking, clearly my best friend was still aware of the emotions and happenings of my day to day life. She had started up the idle chit chat hoping I would offer information without being asked. 

“Mel just tell me” she sighed, placing a gentle hand on my forearm. I looked up at her, annoyance in my eyes, it wasn’t her fault I was so … frustrated. 

“I didn’t think it would be this difficult!” I groaned.

“What are you-oh!” she smiled widely at me. “Having withdrawals?” she joked and I felt myself relaxing with her joke. 

“I just never thought it would be so hard! I’ve had to turn down so many offers.”

“But you’re doing so well, though judging by the fact that you’re here I’m guessing your resolve is wavering.”

“You know me too well” I smiled and leaned down on her bed. “I’ve been so good, it’s been six whole weeks and he still refuses.”

“Well maybe he just wants some reassurances? I mean what have you done for him, not counting your lack of sleeping around?”

“What do you mean?” I perked up, she was better with the whole relationship thing, always had been. If she could provide a new perspective to the situation, she might just discover a way for me to land the man. 

“Have you actually tried to talk to him since you stopped sleeping around?”

“Of course, I have!” I snapped not understanding what she was trying to say.

“How do I put this?” she tapped her lips. “Have you tried restarting from the beginning now that you don’t smell like aftershave?”

I snapped up, feeling stupid. I hadn’t thought about that, I had gone to him and had regular casual conversations without the thoughts of my slutish life style from the past. I tackled her in a hug before running off to find Bones in the infirmary where I knew he would be. He was sitting at his desk reading over at PADD probably reading over someone's medical files. I smiled sneaking up behind him to whisper in his ear.

“Guess who?” 

“Lindsay” his voice was gruff when he spoke. He put the PADD down and turned to look at me, an eyebrow raised.

“No need for formalities, no one else is here.” I smirked and say down on his lap, glad when he didn’t protest but nervous when he didn’t welcome it either. 

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting,” I wiggled my butt on his lap. “I’ve been a very good girl.”

“Have you?” I could see him softening.

“I have for a whole month” I smiled. Searching his face for any sign of refusal and when I found none I decided it was safe to make my move. I placed a chaste kiss to his lips, smirking when he tried to kiss back as I pulled away. His eyes were searching me and I knew why, he didn’t understand me sure he was attracted to me but I was still much of a conundrum. “And I plan on being on my best behavior as long as you’ll have me.”

“I don’t want you to be the poster child for good behavior, I just don’t want you to sleep around.” his tone was rough though just barely above a whisper.

“So, you want me?” I got out of his lap a new hope blossoming. “That enough for me to stay away from the horny men on this ship.” I kissed him one last time before leaving there to return to my own quarters. 

________________________________________

A week after that night, Leonard sought me out, with my promise to cease sleeping around I became a kept woman. It was strange being with only one man, but it was nice to come home to someone who wanted to know about my day. He was kind and understanding and always ready to either listen to what I had to say or offer conversations. I watched Callie fall hard and fast though I didn’t acknowledge it, but I fall slow and easy with Leonard right there for me. 

“What are you thinking about?” his gruff voice made me look up at his from where I rested on his chest. 

“You” I smiled knowing how corny I sounded. “About the development and progression of our relationship compared to my friends.”

“You mean Callie? Has she started a relationship?”

“It’s complicated and I don’t feel like talking about Callie right now” I snuggled into his embrace a happy smile on my face. “I never thought I’d be a one-man kind of guy, not with the way I was raised.”

“I think it suits you very well.”

“You're just saying that so you’ll be the only one who gets lucky tonight.” I giggled against his chest. 

Before he could respond the red light went off, the ship on full alert making us spring towards the door, glad we hadn’t undressed for the day yet. Each of us going to our perspective jobs to handle whatever catastrophe was coming out way. I didn’t expect to be walking into the end of days, to broken hearts, and depression.

________________________________________

She was my closest friend in all the universe and I never thought she’d choose anyone over me but she did and her choice resulted in our separation. I don’t know what happened between her and Captain Pike but I knew she loved him and I believe that’s why she did what she did, because love makes us do stupid things. I never thought she’d leave Starfleet after only a few years, she loved the program but she had and the only person I had to blame was Pike himself. That why, when I found out about Callie I went straight for Pike ignoring all who got in my way. I found him in the infirmary talking with Bones, his eyes bloodshot no doubt he knew about Callie.

“You son of a bitch!” I slapped him before reason started to register with me. Leonard quickly grabbed me keeping me away from the Captain. “This is all your fault! She loved you and you broke her heart! You’re the reason she’s gone!”

“Mel stop” Leonard ordered me to stop but I was hysterical.

“I didn’t ask for this, you think I wanted this? I just wanted her to be happy without endangering the safety of the crew.” Pike’s voice broke several times and I knew he was suffering just as much as I was. 

“Mel, I don’t think either of you should be here.” Leonard tried to convince us to leave but I couldn’t. 

I turned around as they brought her body in and lost it, weeping into Leonard’s shoulder as my best friend was laid down on a biobed, dead.


	4. End Result

I hadn’t known before hand, Mel hadn’t wanted to talk about Callie and Captain Pike’s relationship, I don’t think she even knew about them until the entire crew found out. I hadn’t known Callie all that well but we had started to become friends through Mel, I wasn’t as broken up about it as Mel or Captain Pike but I was still in mourning for my friend. 

Mel was convinced it was Callie’s love for Pike that had driven her to join Kirk and Spock in the rescue mission aboard the Narada. From what I had been told, she accompanied Kirk in finding Pike and when they had, she had been shot by one of the Romulans before Pike himself shot them. She had been defending them when she’d been shot but Kirk and Pike thought she’d been fine as she’d led them all away. When Scotty beamed them back to the Enterprise she wouldn’t get up, I was there for that. 

My attention had been drawn to Captain Pike, no one else cared about anyone but the Captain until we heard the raspy voice of Callie calling out to us. 

“Captain?” Everyone turned to see Caroline Andrews laying on the ground, blood running from one of her wounds. Pike lurched in my arms, moving towards her and I had no choice but move to her, while my Captain clung to him while I checked her over. Frantic when I realized there was nothing I could do to help, all I could do is watch Callie’s last encounter with our Captain. 

“You never asked my name” her voice was quiet but it was intense against the quiet of the room.

“What’s your name Ensign?” the Captain asked, tears in his eyes. 

“My name is Caroline Andrews and it was an honor to serve with you” her voice cracked in pain, her breaths becoming rougher and rougher. 

“You're not going to die” Callie’s hand rose slowly, trembling to touch his cheek.

“I love you” she whispered before her hand fell to the ground and I lost her vitals. 

Absolute was silence was only broken by Pike who raged with tears, no one dared to removed him though he still needed medical attention. We were all hurting for the loss of our crew mate, our friend, someone few of us loved. love-Mel! This was going to destroy Mel. Right now, my priority needed to be with the Captain’s health.

“Sir, we need to get you to the infirmary.” I pulled him away from her with much difficulty and I knew tonight I would have to hold Mel just as tightly.

________________________________________

“No no no no no no! She can’t be gone” Mel wept at the foot of the biobed we had laid Callie’s body on, still sleeping. There was nothing I could do to comfort her, both her and Captain Pike hadn’t left the infirmary and I doubted either of them would. Pike had to stay while her recovered, he was going to need serve back surgery to fully recover. 

“She’s right, it’s all my fault” Captain Pike mumble miserably. 

“Captain I-” I started only to be cut off by his broken eyes on me.

“I let her fall in love with me and in return I fell for her, knowing fully that we could never be more than we were. I let her foster that love hoping she would get over it and everything would be fine but it wasn’t. She wouldn’t have been on that damn ship if I had just ended things, better yet if I had just told her I didn’t love her. But she never asked so I never said.”

“You can’t blame yourself for her decision” I tired again, though my own heartstrings tugged.

“You didn’t even know her.” Mel sleepy, broken voice startled me. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the tears she had shed and she was awfully pale, depression was preventing her from eating. I would have to give her supplement injections just so her body could get the nutrients it needed.

“I know her better than anyone else,” Captain Pike’s melancholy turned to anger quickly. “I know her favorite color is mint green, I know she was an only child and went to private school. I know she’s terrible with kids but loves animals, she loves the rain but likes to go swimming. I know she hates football but loves baseball, I know she prefers the classics when it comes to music. I know she loves wine but hates hard liquor, doesn’t care for sweets, she much prefers spicy or bitter food. I know she’s to a morning person usually because she stays up late reading. I know so much more about her than you’d believe and I know it all because I loved her, whatever you believe know I loved Caroline.”

Silence filled the air as Pike’s rage transformed into despair, his conviction strong, he did in fact love Callie. Somehow, I don't think she knew, I doubt he ever told her and know it was too late. Mel was silenced, knowing now that she was wrong in her assumptions. We were all hurting because we’d loved her and lost her and while the crew mourned, no one suffered more than the two people before me now. 

________________________________________

“Mr. Andrews?” 

I stood quietly behind the Captain as Callie’s father opened the door to their home. Pike had insisted to be the one to tell Callie’s folks about what happened, I think he was hoping they’d punish him, make him feel worse than he already did and that would be a relief. I, however, wasn’t going to let him do this alone and I couldn’t bring myself to let Mel be the one to tell them.

“Bones,” her father smiled warmly at me, though we’d never met in person we’d spoken on occasion when Callie called home around Mel and me. “What’s going on?” his smile dropped, he probably sensed the dire atmosphere surrounded Pike and myself.

“Mr. Andrew’s this is Admiral Pike, Callie and I served under him aboard the USS Enterprise.” I introduced not sure how to go about this. Mr. Andrew’s knew then, I could see his demeanor change as he ushered us inside. 

“Maggie, we have guests.” he called to Mrs. Andrew’s as we were seated in the dining room. When Mrs. Andrew’s joined us, all I could was watch as their world unraveled before my very eyes, to lose one's child, I don’t think I could cope if I ever lost my daughter to death. No parent should have to survive their child, it wasn’t right. 

“She saved my life, if I could change things I would and she would be here now, sitting before you instead of me.” Pike’s voice broke but other than that he seemed perfectly fine admitting he was the reason their daughter had been killed. 

“You loved her?” her mother said it more like a question than a statement but the proof was in pudding so to speak. 

“I did,” Pike took a long breath, tears starting to fight his composure. “She died because of me.”

“No, it was the Romulans there was nothing any of us could do.” I tried to reassure everyone but I knew it was time for us to leave. The moment I managed to get Pike out of the Andrew’s household he turned on me in rage. 

“I don’t need nor want you help.”

“Regardless of what you think, I wasn’t here for them, you’re not alright and until you are, as a doctor I will not allow you to be left on your own.” I was stern but only because I had to be, the man before me was broken by the natural things in life and had only two options. I wasn’t going to let him consume himself with grief and take the more commonly traveled path. 

________________________________________

It felt like the sun was mocking us, brighter than the past few days, it was the hottest day so far, this year with 103 degrees and no wind to counteract it. While most people would be out at the beach or staying inside to keep cool, every crew member of the Enterprise was in attendance for the funeral of Ensign Caroline Andrews. I stood in the third row back, Mel and Pike in the first row alongside Callie’s family and closest friends, Jim stood to my right and Nyota to my left all feeling remorse but perhaps not as intensely as myself. 

Many people had come, people who had known her as a youth, those who knew her post-Starfleet, but Starfleet personnel made up the majority of those in attendance. While Callie would be receiving many commendations and awards, Starfleet had also insisted on paying for any and all expenses regarding the funeral. Though, Starfleet was not the cause of her death they took responsibility and offered as much support as they could. Even offered her parents free counseling to help them cope during their grieving process.

While the fleet had turned her death into a heroic sacrifice, few knew the truth for it was far less impressive. A young love sick girl trying to save the man she loved verse the loyal Ensign who just wanted to save her Captain. Though both were seen as admirable in my eyes, to confess the truth to Starfleet would have prevented all their support in this. They thought her the best of the best, a role model for all those who joined the fleet and I know she would have loved that. Now that she was gone all we could do was honor her and cherish the memories we shared. 

I watched as her father, two of her uncles, her childhood best friend, a representative from Starfleet, and a friend of the family carried her coven, I knew what resided in that obsidian box but I had to forced myself not to think about it. I watched the countless people talk about the person she was, leaving out all the negatives though she would have been irritated by that. She valued honesty and sugarcoating who she was would have pissed her off. I watched as Admiral Pike was wheeled to the podium to read of her achievements and present metals that she would never wear. I watched Mel cling tight to Mrs. Andrew’s as they closed the funeral. 

When Mel approached me after it all, I knew our lives would never be the same, Starfleet had come to mean so much more than a method to escape my old life. Callie had made Starfleet mean something to me and I would live everyday embracing it, for her, for her memory, for her legacy.


End file.
